Resources | Choose Respect Montgomery

What is teen dating violence?

Teen dating abuse is a pattern of physically, sexually, verbally, and/or emotionally abusive or controlling behavior in a dating relationship.

Physical: hitting, punching, strangulation, using weapons

Emotional: isolation, humiliation, threats, manipulation

Sexual: any unwanted sexual activity (touching, kissing, sex)

Technological: monitoring texts/social media, demanding passwords, tracking whereabouts

Financial: withholding money, monitoring spending

Stalking: being watched, followed, monitored or harassed

There are free resources in Montgomery County to get help.

Montgomery County Family Justice Center
240 773-0444
* Parental accompaniment needed if under age 18.

JCADA, Jewish Coalition Against Domestic Abuse
1-877-88-JCADA
* Serve any residents of Greater Washington ages 14 and up.

Montgomery County Crisis Center
240-777-4000
* Parental accompaniment needed if under age 16.

National Dating Violence Hotline
1-866-331-9474
Text: loveis to 22522
Chat online at loveisrespect.org

Their partner calls them names or puts them down in front of others.
Their partner gets extremely jealous when they talk to other people.
They apologize for their partner’s behavior and make excuses for it.
They frequently cancel plans at the last minute for reasons that sound untrue or they give up things they used to enjoy doing.
Their partner is always checking up, calling or texting and demanding to know who they’re with and where they’ve been.
They’re constantly worried about upsetting their partner or making them angry.
Their weight, appearance or grades have changed dramatically.
They have injuries they can’t explain or the explanations they give don’t make sense.

Listen
Validate. Stress that it is not their fault, that you believe them, that they are not alone.
Ask what you can do to help.
Know where to point someone to for more help - (trusted adults and resources)
Keep an open heart
Take care of yourself

Examples of what you can say:

“You deserve to be treated with respect.”
“I am here whenever you need to talk.”
“I know you care about him, but I care about you, and want to make sure you are safe.”

They check their partner's cell phones, emails or social networks without permission.
They are extremely jealous or insecure, and have mood swings.
They constantly put their partner down.
They have an explosive temper and constantly make false accusations.
They isolate partner from family and friends.
They are physically violent.
They are possessive.
They pressure partner to have sex.

Your friend may try to blame the victim for the abuse. Don’t support these feelings.
Your friend might think that what they are doing isn't a big deal. Speak up. It is a big deal.
Don’t ignore abuse you see or hear about. If you don’t say anything, they won’t think they are doing anything wrong.

Examples of what you can say:

“I wanted to talk to you because I’ve seen you push Emma a few times now, and it makes me worried about both of you.”
“I know this is awkward, but I have to tell you that I am worried about the way you yell at Marcus. You’ve told him that he’ll regret it if he breaks up with you, and I don’t think that’s okay.”